A Secret Gift by Amanda James

Author:Amanda James [James, Amanda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780008504984
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Chapter Seventeen

Clammy hands and a dry mouth. Not the best combination when I’m trying to be self-assured and confident. Locking the car, I hurry across the early-morning school carpark, pulling my jacket tighter against the fresh wind. Why am I getting in a pickle about telling Helen about Jowan’s mum? Okay, it’s not the pleasantest of tasks, but nothing to get worried about. Yes, I know she can be a difficult person to talk to, but this should be a straightforward imparting of information. Pop in the office, tell her, and pop out. That’s it, all done. Perhaps it’s because the fact that I nearly kissed Jowan yesterday has been playing on my mind ever since. Maybe I’m worrying that as soon as I mention his name to Helen, my face will light up like a red traffic light.. I’m ashamed of myself.

Inside the main corridor, I smooth my hair and check my appearance in the double doors, try to put yesterday from my mind. But it won’t be silenced. What was I thinking? Not only would a kiss have been ridiculous, it would have been highly inappropriate. The man is grieving for his mother, for God’s sake. For the life of me I don’t know what possessed me. No matter how much my charitable side argues that it would have been a kiss of comfort and nothing more, the wicked side slaps this down for the lie it is. It chants, Joy fancies Jowan, she likes him, she wants him, over and over like a bully in the school playground, and no teachers are there to stop it.

Maybe the bully’s right, but it isn’t happening. Especially not at the moment … and especially because I still love my husband and miss him so much. An ocean of frustrated tears waits behind my eyes as I stand in front of Helen’s door and bunch my fist to knock. Furious with myself, I blink them back and go for it. ‘Enter,’ comes Helen’s voice through the wood.

‘Hi, Helen. I came in early to catch you for a quick chat.’ My smile feels nervous, awkward.

She looks up from her desk and closes a file with a sigh, obviously not thrilled to see me. ‘I have a few moments. Anything wrong?’

Helen’s hard scarlet slash of a mouth and those green glassy eyes have me tongue-tied. ‘No. I mean, yes … well … kind of.’ I sigh and gather my wits. Her frown deepens. ‘It’s Jowan’s mum. She sadly died in the early hours of Saturday morning, and he asked if I’d let you know.’ Her mouth stops being a slash and forms an O instead, so I press on. ‘Also, he won’t be in until Wednesday, with everything to organise and so forth.’

‘Oh, my goodness.’ She places her hand on her neck, traces a red manicured fingernail along her jawline. ‘Poor Jowan. That was quick, we thought she’d have a while longer yet.’

‘Yes, Jowan said as much yesterday. He’s devastated, poor guy.’

‘So, how

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